1st Edition

  1. STFL #1: The harder a problem is to track down, the simpler the cause is likely to be.
  2. STFL #2: My wife is always right.
  3. STFL #3: Having too much pizza is better than running out.
  4. STFL #4: Whiteboards are awesome.
  5. STFL #5: You must read the code.
  6. STFL #6: Donuts.
  7. STFL #7: When in doubt, nap.
  8. STFL #8: If you are comfortable with who God is and what He is doing, you’re doing it wrong.
  9. STFL #9: Children are always a blessing. I will say it again: Children. Are. Always. A. Blessing.
  10. STFL #10: I am the most humble and truthful person.
  11. STFL #11: Liberty breeds equality. Equality breeds fairness. Fairness breeds injustice. Injustice breeds slavery. Slavery breeds revolution. Revolution breeds liberty. Welcome to the human condition.
  12. STFL #12: Parents are not responsible for the behavior of their children.
  13. STFL #13: Parents are responsible for helping their children hear, heed, and hone their own conscience.
  14. STFL #14: There are two classic blunders: (1) Never get involved in a land war in Asia. (2) Never get into an argument with a Sicilian when death is on the line.
  15. STFL #15: Giving a government official a big pile of money is almost always a bad idea. Just kidding. It is always a bad idea.
  16. STFL #16: Some things cannot be said.
  17. STFL #17: That humans are basically good is a notion created and pushed by politicians in order to control you.
  18. STFL #18: Words mean things. Yet, people are quite willing to use a word against its meaning when it suits them.
  19. STFL #19: He who is easily amused shall never cease to be entertained. Oh, did you hear the one about the bed? I made it up.
  20. STFL #20: Without omniscience, faith is inescapable. Some have never forgiven God for this.
  21. STFL #21: Kansas is the best place on earth.
  22. STFL #22: Kansas has the stupidest weather on earth.
  23. STFL #23: Every word of the Bible was written only for those who have been called.
  24. STFL #24: Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want.
  25. STFL #25: Don’t argue directly with trolls. It is much more satisfying just to hand them some rope and watch what they do with it.
  26. STFL #26: Life is pain. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
  27. STFL #27: If you are upset by how unfair life is, just imagine how upset you’d be if it were fair.
  28. STFL #28: If you spend your time trying to explain why the Bible does not say what it appears to be saying, there is a very good chance the Bible does not say what you think it says.
  29. STFL #29: Never dig straight down.
  30. STFL #30: Never do live demos.
  31. STFL #31: What do you call a huge publicly-owned monopoly run by greedy power-hungry executives, which also has the authority to kill and imprison you? Your government.
  32. STFL #32: Patience is a matter of months and years, not just hours or days.
  33. STFL #33: Don’t watch NASCAR for the wrecks, watch it for the yellow flags.
  34. STFL #34: The literal meaning of “literal” is literally one of the most abused definitions in the English language.
  35. STFL #35: It is not an insult to be called “sheep” as long as your shepherd is worthy.
  36. STFL #36: Science is the practice of reverse engineering creation. The pursuit of science is predicated on a distinctly monotheistic premise that the natural laws are reliable and they do not change.
  37. STFL #37: Sometimes the best way to help someone is to refuse to help.
  38. STFL #38: It is unwise to mix myth with truth.
  39. STFL #39: Buying a lottery ticket is always a mistake.
  40. STFL #40: Sooner or later people have to accept that humans are a flawed species that can’t be legislated into a better race of beings.
  41. STFL #41: Marriage is between a man and a woman. Anything else is not marriage.
  42. STFL #42: Don’t panic.
  43. STFL #43: It is better for men to be enterprising than risk-averse cowards.
  44. STFL #44: There is no afterlife. This is the beforelife for some and the beforedeath for others.
  45. STFL #45: Sometimes a short nap is just the thing.
  46. STFL #46: Security by obscurity is security in name only.
  47. STFL #47: The outward appearance of holiness has always been popular, though the definition given for this “holiness” changes by faction and generation. Actual holiness has never changed and has never been popular, ever.
  48. STFL #48: Men and women are different.
  49. STFL #49: The most fundamental moral truth is this: A law broken is broken forever.
  50. STFL #50: America is a nation full of people who do not like being told what to do and how to live, but insist on telling other people what to do and how to live.
  51. STFL #51: Evil will always win because good is dumb.
  52. STFL #52: There are no secrets or codes in the Bible.
  53. STFL #53: Freedom is not freedom unless you are free to do things that are unpopular, stupid, and offensive to others.
  54. STFL #54: The statement “don’t judge me” necessarily carries the implication “but it’s okay for me to judge you.”
  55. STFL #55: The difference between a good administrator and a bad one is about 5 seconds. A good administrator makes quick decisions. A bad one dithers.
  56. STFL #56: Party systems work to nullify the democratic part of a democratic republic.
  57. STFL #57: Saturdays were made for donuts.
  58. STFL #58: It is possible for a being to be perfectly good, but it is not possible any being to be perfectly evil.
  59. STFL #59: One lesson of Job is that God does whatever He pleases and does not have to explain his motives to you. Another lesson is that seemingly good friends can be worse than useless in times of crisis.
  60. STFL #60: The hardest program to write is one that does a very few things very well and nothing more, but it’s the very best kind of program to write.
  61. STFL #61: If a common operation is okay in all cases but one, some engineer will forget about the exception and screw it up sooner or later if they can.
  62. STFL #62: Showing statistically significant correlation between two measurable quantities tends to be more important in making someone feel better about made-up “facts” than revealing truth.
  63. STFL #63: No matter how cold it gets, you can always have fun.
  64. STFL #64: The goal of science is to systematically organize observations into explanations and predictions that are supported by a set of philosophical presuppositions.
  65. STFL #65: All non-trivial software programs contain at least one bug. This means that every bugfix must either introduce a new bug or that there were at least two bugs in the software program prior to the bugfix.
  66. STFL #66: The purpose of law is not to improve society, but to show where its people fail. The surest proof that humanity is basically evil is in the ubiquitous need for law and government to enforce it.
  67. STFL #67: Sometimes the best way to cope with a frustrating situation is to write a horrible letter explaining your problem to the responsible person in detail... and then destroy it.
  68. STFL #68: There is a difference between liberty and license.
  69. STFL #69: Early to bed and early to rise makes a man stupid and blind in the eyes.
  70. STFL #70: Whenever Kansas makes headlines, you can expect Kansas expatriates who “love Kansas” to be the first and loudest to pile on their condescension.
  71. STFL #71: When someone is facing a crisis, here are two of the worst things you can do to comfort them: (1) share good, general purpose theology as advice and, (2) talk about your own experience proving that you understand their predicament.
  72. STFL #72: Always keep two calendars: one online and one manual.
  73. STFL #73: The proper role of a committee is not to make decisions but assign resources and decide who’s responsible for each assignment.
  74. STFL #74: No cats.
  75. STFL #75: If your code is so complicated that it requires a comment to explain it, what makes you think that your comments will be any easier to understand?
  76. STFL #76: If you think you can fully share the gospel of Jesus Christ in just a few minutes or even just a few hours, you have a different gospel than Jesus and his apostles taught.
  77. STFL #77: Just because an action is morally wrong, does not mean there should be a rule or law against it.
  78. STFL #78: Disciplined children start with disciplined adults.
  79. STFL #79: People do strange things to show they care.
  80. STFL #80: Everyone gets their day in court.
  81. STFL #81: Don’t make me participate in your stupid crap if you don’t like the way I do it.
  82. STFL #82: Babies do not sleep like a baby.
  83. STFL #83: The wealthiest individuals and largest companies are the ones most able to shrug off regulations and taxes.
  84. STFL #84: Public schools are not a sacrament.
  85. STFL #85: The weakest link in any security system is always people.
  86. STFL #86: Publishing negative things about others is poor taste. Publishing negative things about your employer is stupid.
  87. STFL #87: “Invalid” is the word most abused by engineers when something is incorrect.
  88. STFL #88: Computer simulations and reality are never equal and rarely even very similar.
  89. STFL #89: The more petty a user interface or user experience improvement is to an application, the more the users will appreciate it.
  90. STFL #90: If you go online to complain about being too poor, you are not nearly so poor as you think you are.
  91. STFL #91: Speed limits are a money-making scam.
  92. STFL #92: Be careful what you say. Sometimes people will listen.
  93. STFL #93: God does not make mistakes nor is He trying to confuse you.
  94. STFL #94: The proper amount of consent before engaging in sexual congress with another person is, “I do.”
  95. STFL #95: The thing no one ever tells parents-to-be is this: you will become obsessed with monitoring the frequency, consistency, and mass of poop extruded by your children.
  96. STFL #96: If you find yourself in awe, you are engaged in worship.
  97. STFL #97: Friendship is not something others give to you, but something you give to others.
  98. STFL #98: Pretending a doll is watching your kids and checking up on them is a good plot for a horror movie, not good real-life parenting.
  99. STFL #99: “God is leading me to...” is a phrase that is almost always followed by bad theology.
  100. STFL #100: When someone asks an impertinent question, you should respond with an impertinent answer or nothing.
  101. STFL #101: Never read comments on the Internet.
  102. STFL #102: If we each spent more time feeling empathy for one another rather than giving advice, we’d be better, happier people.
  103. STFL #103: Repartee is that which you think of hours after you need it.
  104. STFL #104: If someone says they are joking, how do you know they are being serious? If someone says they are serious, how do you know they aren’t joking?
  105. STFL #105: No organization is a monolith.
  106. STFL #106: The term “agnostic” is just a euphemism for “ignoramus.”
  107. STFL #107: Invention and discovery are not inevitable consequences of human existence.
  108. STFL #108: The first implementation is always wrong.
  109. STFL #109: We are all going to die.
  110. STFL #110: Multiverse Theory is superstition, religion, or metaphysics, not science.
  111. STFL #111: There are fewer people who correctly know how to use “fewer” and “less” all the time.
  112. STFL #112: Forgiveness does not imply the restoration of trust.
  113. STFL #113: Even Jesus had help carrying his cross to Calvary.