Tag: Humor
- STFL #1:
My wife is always right.
- STFL #3:
Having too much pizza is better than running out.
- STFL #6:
Donuts.
- STFL #10:
I am the most humble and truthful person.
- STFL #14:
There are two classic blunders: (1) Never get involved in a land war in Asia. (2) Never get into an argument with a Sicilian when death is on the line.
- STFL #19:
He who is easily amused shall never cease to be entertained.
- STFL #21:
Kansas is the best place on earth.
- STFL #22:
Kansas has disassociative personality disorder.
- STFL #25:
The only way to talk to trolls is to hand them rope and watch what they do with it.
- STFL #29:
Never dig straight down.
- STFL #30:
Never do live demos.
- STFL #34:
The literal meaning of “literal” is literally the most abused word in English.
- STFL #42:
Don’t panic.
- STFL #50:
America is a nation full of people who do not like being told what to do and how to live, but insist on telling other people what to do and how to live.
- STFL #51:
Evil will always win because good is dumb.
- STFL #60:
If it isn’t broken, it doesn’t have enough features yet.
- STFL #65:
All non-trivial software programs contain at least one bug.
- STFL #69:
Early to bed and early to rise makes a man stupid and blind in the eyes.
- STFL #70:
Whenever Kansas makes headlines, you can expect Kansas expatriates who “love Kansas” to be the first and loudest critics of Kansas.
- STFL #74:
No cats.
- STFL #79:
People do strange things to show they care.
- STFL #81:
Don’t make me participate in your stupid crap if you don’t like the way I do it.
- STFL #82:
Babies do not sleep like a baby.
- STFL #90:
If you go online to complain about being too poor, you are not nearly so poor as you think you are.
- STFL #91:
Speed limits are a money-making scam.
- STFL #95:
Parents are obsessed with the poop of their kids.
- STFL #98:
Pretending a doll is watching your kids and checking up on them is a good plot for a horror movie, not good real-life parenting.
- STFL #100:
When someone asks an impertinent question, you should respond with an impertinent answer or nothing.
- STFL #103:
Repartee is that which you think of hours after you need it.
- STFL #104:
If someone says they are joking, how do you know they are being serious? If someone says they are serious, how do you know they aren’t joking?
- STFL #111:
There are fewer people who correctly know how to use “fewer” and “less” all the time.
- STFL #114:
If an engineer tells you something is the worst ever, what he really means is that it is pretty good, but needs some work.
- STFL #124:
Never write code in a module containing “util” in the name.
- STFL #126:
Code written by me more than 6 weeks ago might as well have been written by someone else.
- STFL #129:
The simplest way to explain the behavior of any bureaucratic organization is to assume that it is controlled by a cabal of its enemies.
- STFL #138:
Men usually solve their problems by trial and error, but mostly error.
- STFL #139:
The first 90% of a software project takes 90% of the time. The last 10% takes the other 90%.